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Advice For Singles on Finding a Perfect Match

Elite Connections has a large database of eligible singles looking for a perfect match.

Q. But what makes two people compatible in love?

Finding compatibility in love is a complex and subjective matter. Compatibility between two individuals goes beyond simple matchmaking algorithms and physical attraction. Some factors to consider when evaluating compatibility in love are how your goals line up, how you communicate, shared interests, chemistry, and respect.

Shared values and goals matter to the extent that two people need to be on the same page.Compatibility often, but not always, stems from having similar core values and long-term goals. When two people have aligned beliefs and aspirations, it can create a strong foundation for a successful and fulfilling relationship. But when two people contrast with each other in a healthy way, that push/pull can also be a dynamic that keeps both partners engaged.

Think about where you want to be in five, ten years down the road. Do you have a financial planyou’re actively working? After retirement ambitions to cruise the world? While a penny-pincher can sometimes be happy with a free spirit over the long haul, whether one partner’s differing attitude toward money compliments or clashes with the other in this hypothetical scenario depends on if they can agree, as a couple, what their financial goals look like together.

In a healthy relationship, the penny-pincher can help the spendthrift learn restraint and not go overboard.  While the big spender can encourage the more frugal partner to lighten up and live a little. If both partners have similar ambitions about how much money they need to live well and be happy, then they know where they’re going. If, however, one partner is unable or unwilling to think long-term, or someone’s conservative nature leads to constant tension, then the partners may have compatibility issues.

Money is one of the main things that couples fight about. So, assessing compatibility and possibly becoming a couple means that both partners have to be open to talking about money, which can be hard when you are starting to fall head over heels in love and don’t want to broach a sensitive topic.

However, having open and honest conversations about money early on in a relationship is crucial for long-term compatibility. Here are some tips to navigate this sensitive topic:

Timing is important. Choose an appropriate time to discuss money when both partners are relaxed and open to conversations. It’s best to avoid bringing up the topic during an argument or when tensions are high.

Create a safe space. Approach the conversation with empathy, understanding, and a non-judgmental attitude. Money can be a sensitive subject for many individuals, so it’s important to create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns.

Be transparent about financial values. Discuss your individual financial values, goals, and attitudes towards money. This includes topics such as saving, spending habits, debt, and financial priorities. Understanding each other’s perspectives can help identify potential areas of compatibility or areas that may require compromise.

Set mutual financial goals. If the relationship progresses, it’s important to establish shared financial goals and develop a plan to achieve them. This can involve discussions about budgeting, financial responsibilities, and planning together.

Seek professional help if needed. If money becomes a recurring source of conflict or if you find it challenging to have productive conversations about finances, consider seeking guidance from a financial advisor or couples’ therapist. They can provide neutral perspectives and help facilitate constructive discussions.

Remember, open and honest communication is key when discussing money in a relationship. By addressing this sensitive topic early on and working together to find common ground, couples can build a stronger foundation of financial compatibility and understanding.

Effective communication and emotional connection play vital roles in relationship compatibility. The ability to express oneself, listen actively, and understand each other’s emotions fosters a deeper connection and allows for resolving conflicts and challenges together.

Shared interests and hobbies can strengthen compatibility. When two individuals enjoy engaging in similar activities, it provides opportunities for shared experiences, quality time, and mutual enjoyment, promoting a sense of compatibility and closeness. While shared interests are important, that doesn’t mean that she has to watch the Super Bowl with his guy friends or go to the MMA match and he has to join her Pilates class and learn to crochet, assuming this hypothetical couple has interests that fall along traditional gender lines. It’s good to have friendships with one’s own gender or colleagues one’s professional sphere. But it’s nice if both partners can give each other space for their own interests as well as find things they can do together. If, for example, they both love to watch movies but don’t both like the same movies, they can try taking turns picking a movie to watch together and snuggle.

Walking, jogging, biking, or hiking together is a great couples’ activity because it’s healthy and promotes casual conversation, the kind that helps us feel connected. Even the cliché greeting, “Hi honey, how was your day?” has its merits. Many couples have different professions and daily activities. Showing interest in your partner is a great way to stay close. The relationship, if nothing else, should be seen as a shared project, an environment that both people nurture and protect so that they can both live better lives and be their best selves.

Partners who compete with each other are in for a bumpy ride, while partners who cooperate and work as a team are the ones who achieve more in life together than they could separately. In that sense, finding a perfect match is about finding someone who, like you, will take 100% responsibility for making the relationship work. When you give 200% together and are committed to the process rather than the ideal you have in your head of how the other person should act toward you, you’ve got a perfect match.

Personal compatibility involves understanding, accepting, and appreciating each other’s personalities, quirks, and differences. Chemistry, which encompasses attraction and a natural rapport, can also contribute to the initial spark and compatibility between two people. While there may be no exact criteria for chemistry, you know if when you feel it. While chemistry alone won’t make a perfect match, chemistry IS an important component. If you’re not “feeling it,” don’t try and force it.

Compatibility in love involves mutual support and respect. Being able to encourage and uplift each other, while also respecting individual boundaries and autonomy, contributes to a healthy and harmonious relationship. Starting sentences with the phrase “I appreciate” and filling them in with things about your partner you like brings two people together and is a great way to reinforce the idea that you support and respect your partner. You can also straight up start sentences with the phrase “I support” and “I respect.” Examples of sentences you might use include “I support your effort to finish this project you’ve started at work,” or “I respect the way you always make time for your mother when she calls.”

Don’t sweat the small stuff. All too often, two otherwise compatible, strong-willed people can find themselves at odds over petty trifles, like what restaurant to eat at, or how to hang the toilet paper roll in the bathroom. If intimacy is a dance, compatibility is a dance marathon. It isn’t something that just arrives on your doorstep fully assembled and wrapped in a bow. These minor disagreements can escalate into larger conflicts if not addressed with understanding and compromise.

It’s crucial to remember that a strong foundation of compatibility is built on the ability to navigate these small challenges together, finding common ground and prioritizing the well-being of the relationship over individual preferences. By focusing on the bigger picture and valuing the connection and shared goals, couples can maintain harmony and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Assessing whether you’ve found the perfect match isn’t so much about who your partner is, or about who you are. It’s about whether or not the two of you can commit to growing the relationship together. Assessing whether you’ve found the perfect match isn’t solely about your partner’s qualities or your own. It’s primarily about the mutual commitment to growing the relationship together.

True compatibility lies in the shared willingness to invest time, effort, and emotional energy into nurturing and developing the connection. It involves embracing the journey of personal and relational growth, supporting each other’s aspirations, and adapting to life’s challenges as a unified team. The perfect match is not a static state but a continuous process of building and strengthening the bond, where both partners actively participate in the evolution of the relationship with shared dedication and a shared vision for the future.

It’s important to note that compatibility is not a fixed attribute and can evolve over time. Building and maintaining compatibility requires ongoing effort, effective communication, and a willingness to grow together as individuals and as a couple.

While a matchmaking service like Elite Connections can provide potential matches based on certain criteria, it’s essential for individuals to explore these factors personally and determine their compatibility through open and honest communication, shared experiences, and a genuine connection.

Q. Is there really such a thing as a “perfect match” in love?

Finding a “perfect match” in love is a subjective concept that can vary from person to person. While it’s natural to have certain preferences and deal-breakers, expecting perfection in a partner can be unrealistic and may limit one’s chances of finding a fulfilling relationship. Here are a few points to consider:

Accepting imperfections: No one is perfect, and seeking a flawless partner can lead to disappointment. It’s important to recognize that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. Learning to accept and appreciate a partner’s imperfections can contribute to a more realistic and fulfilling relationship.

Compatibility over perfection: Rather than focusing on finding a perfect match, it can be more valuable to prioritize compatibility. Compatibility involves shared values, goals, communication styles, and a genuine emotional connection. These factors contribute to the overall strength and success of a relationship, even if there are minor differences or imperfections.

When a person works with a high end Elite Connections matchmaker, we have almost three decades of working to get people happily coupled up, so we really have seen it all and know when somebody’s using perfectionism to protect their own heart, maybe as an over-reaction from having her heart broken in the past. Remember the movie Romancing the Stone? Jack Colton, the real dirty, sweaty, flesh-and-blood man that Joan Wilder actually needed was nothing like the imaginary “Jesse” in her romance novels. Maybe the reason the movie did so well, aside from great acting and a great screenplay, is that the Joan Wilder character resonated with so many women in Manhattan and beyond.

Growth and compromise: Relationships require effort, growth, and compromise from both partners. It’s essential to understand that personal growth and change are part of any healthy relationship. Being open to learning and growing together can lead to a deeper connection and greater satisfaction. When one partner has to get his or her way all the time, the other partner may silently simmer with resentment.

Self-reflection: Reflect on your expectations and criteria for a partner. It’s important to distinguish between essential qualities that align with your values and preferences and superficial or rigid requirements that may limit your options.

Openness to new experiences: Being more open-minded and open to new experiences can provide opportunities for personal growth and unexpected connections. Give people a chance, even if they don’t meet your initial expectations. Sometimes, individuals can surprise us with their compatibility and the potential for a meaningful relationship.

Ultimately, the idea of a “perfect match” in love is subjective and can vary from person to person. Focus on compatibility, genuine connection, and shared values, while also being open to growth and accepting imperfections.

An Elite Connections International matchmaker can help you find that special someone who could be the perfect match. But the hard work of committing to, and maintaining, a relationship, is up to you.