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Home » The Dos and Don’ts of Dating on Valentine’s Day By Elite matchmaker and CEO Sherri Murphy

The Dos and Don’ts of Dating on Valentine’s Day By Elite matchmaker and CEO Sherri Murphy

It’s that time again. Valentine’s Day is here! For many singles, this is not the most exciting time of year. Being single on Valentine’s Day can likely be stressful for some people. Attending events and parties alone near Valentine’s Day makes you focus on what’s missing in your life. It’s important as the CEO of a professional matchmaking agency, for I to say that when you’re looking for the love of your life, you have to reach out of your normal activities, stay positive, have an open mind, and be more spontaneous than you usually are. you can read Wikipedia’s “Comparison of online dating services“.

Sherri Murphy says this Valentine’s Day do yourself a big favor and consider these tips to help you get on the right path to finding love: 

1. Step out of your comfort zone and get out there. Go to the parties you’re invited to, smile, and meet new people. Try to go to an event once a week, even if it’s something you wouldn’t normally attend. Don’t sit at home and expect things will change.

2. Forget about dating “your type”. I’ve been in the professional matchmaking business for many years, and this is one of the biggest problems I see with our clients.  If your type worked, you’d be married. If you go out with someone different, you might surprise yourself. If you’re used to being attracted to people you have to chase, it will be very different to be with someone that’s 100% interested in you from the first date.

3. You might have met many of the singles in your area. Attempt to veer away from your routine dating avenues to meet singles. Don’t worry if they live a little farther away than you’re used to, and find a fun place in the middle to meet. Give more effort than you have given in the past. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections hear complaints about people not wanting to meet someone that lives an hour from them. If you fall in love, you will eventually live together. I’ve had some amazing marriages because people took this advice.

4. Forget about your rules. Dating rules like “Don’t return their call quickly” or “Wait three days after the date to call” should be forgotten. Don’t be rude, call them the next day, if you’re interested. Let them know how you’re feeling and be honest. Even if that means you don’t feel inclined to have a second date.

5. You shouldn’t show up on a date without looking your best. Don’t be stuck in the past, and update your look! “New do, new you” is a saying for a reason. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections review each client and help them on their path to finding love. We advise people to hire a hairdresser, stylist, or photographer to give them tips. Make it simple, and go to a department store. Pick a salesperson that’s dressed well to help you.

6. Stop letting age be a deciding factor. People seem to pick a cut-off age they feel is too old or young for them, and refuse to meet many compatible singles because of it. I’m not talking about 20-year age differences either, that is quite a large age gap and it’s understandable. However, if you are a 41-year-old woman rejecting a man who is 48 because of his age alone, that’s an issue you’re creating for yourself. Many singles I meet tell me how they, “don’t look their age, are fit, healthy, and active. They simply can’t date their age.” If you restrict who you date because they’re a year or two older than your cut-off age, you will miss out on meeting many great people that you could be happy with. Try to find someone that you can have enjoyable conversations with, make a friend first, and you might surprise yourself.

7. Be creative when planning a second date. Do something different instead of the typical dinner and a movie. Think out of the box and set up a fun and exciting second date. The options are endless if you take the time to think about them, so have fun with them.

8. Become a volunteer or start helping a charity.  Not only will you feel good about helping others, but it’s an opportunity to meet new people who care about the same things you do. Having that in common already makes instant conversation starters. If you don’t know where to start to give back, volunteer for our next fundraiser. The money that’s made goes towards helping unfortunate children. What sounds bad about giving back and meeting someone too?

9. Relax! Dating shouldn’t be stressful. Try letting loose and purely having fun with it. Don’t overthink and go into all your first dates imagining what your life with that person for the next 5 years. Regardless of whether it works out between the two of you, simply be friendly and get to know each other. Even if no interest gets sparked during the date, you could meet someone great through them. Keep the conversation positive, make a friend, and don’t talk about your problems or past relationships.

10. Be the caliber of person you would want to meet yourself. Keep yourself from getting too loose and don’t drink an excessive amount. Be polite and respectful. To the ladies, if a man takes the time to plan out a nice date for the two of you, you need to say thank you at the end of the night. In return, think of something equally as nice that you could do for him next time. Offer to bring theater tickets, passes to one of his favorite sporting events, or offer to make him a home-cooked meal after a 3rd or 4th date.

Trust us, he will definitely appreciate it. Men, if you meet someone you’re interested in, be sure to give her your attention and make her a top priority. If you’re interested in her, then call her the next day and ask her out on another date. Don’t let her think you’re not interested or dating others by being too busy. It could make her question whether she’ll want to see you again.

11. Last but not least, you need to make dating a PRIORITY! Everyone gets settled in their ways. Everyone is busy. Maybe you work a lot, or you travel and choose to spend your spare time with friends and family. That is all okay, but sadly when it comes to dating it doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for someone new. It’s really important to set specific time aside for someone special. If you don’t, they will think you’re not interested and they will inevitably move on.

My husband Bill and I went skiing together an afternoon for our second date. He wanted to extend our date through into the evening and asked me the same day. I already had a different date planned with somebody else that evening. Regardless, I immediately rushed to the ski lodge, canceled my other date (because I was becoming very interested in Bill), and went to dinner with Bill instead. Now we’ve been married for 26 years. When I tell this dating story to men, I try to help them understand how important it is to ask women out ahead of time. I canceled my original date, but that’s rare and doesn’t mean every woman will cancel their plans for you if you wait until the last minute. Most men usually reply with, “I want someone that would cancel a date to be with me“.

Everyone wants a relationship with somebody that makes them a priority and they would like to spend time with you over anyone else. If you want to find the right person that you can share the rest of your life with, you have to make sure you put aside time to spend with them. I’ve met a lot of people in my elite matchmaking career that tells me they would like to get married. Yet they ruin that for themselves when they don’t make the time for someone new to build a proper relationship. When meeting your friends or coworkers for cocktails becomes more important to you than getting to know the person you’re interested in, then you will continue to be single for a very long time.

I have been a professional matchmaker for many years, and I continue to watch people make the same mistakes I made when I was single. I was constantly working and taking care of my family. I decided to join with an elite matchmaker and my husband Bill happened to be my first date. He’s a handsome, genuine, caring, and respectful man. He was incredibly different from any of the other men I had known, so naturally, I spoke the famous words “he’s not my type.”

After we were first introduced to each other, a good friend of mine, told me to go out with him again, because he sounded exactly like what I needed. She went on to say that my usual type was not good and I should move out of my comfort zone.  I’m advising you to venture out of your typical type too. I did it myself and it was a great decision.

Our clients at Elite Connections are devoted to finding someone to be with, and they contact us looking to find a serious relationship. Our matchmakers at Elite Connections hear complaints that people are exhausted over trying to use other dating alternatives, that have ended in failure. That’s why they come to us for help. The majority of our clientele consists of successful professionals that want their privacy. Because of this, most of them prefer to stay away from online dating because they don’t want their photos to be posted online for everyone to see. Not everyone we work with listens to our dating advice, but many of the ones that do are successful at finding love.

The Elite Connections team reviews every client they work with. Contact Sherri Murphy and her professional matchmaking staff at Elite Connections for your chance at finding love this Valentine’s Day. Call us to make an appointment for an evaluation at 1- 800-923-4200 or email us at